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Stargazing
Some of you may be thinking, 'But wait, isn't the brightest star in our sky the Sun?' I think that's a great question and you should totally ask it. On the infinite tree of possible conversations spread out before us, I think that's definitely the most promising branch.
Reposted byprauscherrinka
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Degrees
"Radians Fahrenheit or radians Celsius?" "Uh, sorry, gotta go!"
Reposted bydanielbohrerlubinordernrinka
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Gravitational Waves
"That last LinkedIn request set a new record for the most energetic physical event ever observed. Maybe we should respond." "Nah."
Reposted bylamnedmondkroetelilaschwarzdingenscygenb0ck4poc
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Hot Dogs
Okay, I'm just gonna order pizza, and let's never talk about this again.
Reposted bydanielbohrerblindtextlubi
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Super Bowl Context
Why did the chicken cross the road? It begins over five thousand years ago with the domestication of the red junglefowl in southeast Asia and the development of paved roads in the Sumerian city of Ur.
Reposted byrinka rinka
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To Taste
Look, recipe, if I knew how much was gonna taste good, I wouldn't need you.
Reposted bydesiadvocatusDiaboliSpecies5618athalisencaferinka
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Backslashes
I searched my .bash_history for the line with the highest ratio of special characters to regular alphanumeric characters, and the winner was: cat out.txt | grep -o "\\\[[(].*\\\[\])][^)\]]*$" ... I have no memory of this and no idea what I was trying to do, but I sure hope it worked.
Reposted bymondkroeteratmanicptrickrinkaZera
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Salt Mine
This one is a little bland. Pass the saltshaker?
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XKCD Stack
This site requires Sun Java 6.0.0.1 (32-bit) or higher. You have Macromedia Java 7.3.8.1¾ (48-bit). Click here [link to java.com main page] to download an installer which will run fine but not really change anything.
Reposted byMerari Merari
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Birdsong
Maybe if I put it in a box for a while with a speaker playing some pleasant pastoral music, I can reprogram it.
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In Case of Emergency
I keep first aid kits in those emergency lockers. Sure, it's expensive to have them installed in the wall, but at least for those ones there's no need to pay extra for safety glass.
Reposted bydanielbohrermalborghettonibotsofiassvvataperture
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Possible Undiscovered Planets
Superman lies near the bird/plane boundary over a range of distances, which explains the confusion.
Reposted byriotdingensgroeschtlrinkasofias
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Palindrome
I hope that somewhere in the world, "Panamax" is the last option on a "size" drop-down menu on a sex toy site.
Reposted byrinkadychterFyrstmondkroete
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Longer Than Usual
'--> [ Well, this is embarrassing. ]
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Quadcopter
I always have to turn off nature documentaries when they show these scenes.
Reposted bymondkroete mondkroete
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Tools
I make tools for managing job-hunting sites for people who make tools for managing job-hunting sites for people who make tools for ...
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Magnus
In the latest round, 9-year-old Muhammad Ali beat 10-year-old JFK at air hockey, while Secretariat lost the hot-dog-eating crown to 12-year-old Ken Jennings. Meanwhile, in a huge upset, 11-year-old Martha Stewart knocked out the adult Ronda Rousey.
Reposted byratmaniDerOrwischerdesinichimtaktschaaf
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Woosh
It also occasionally replies with 'Comment of the year', 'Are you for real', and 'I'm taking a screenshot so I can remember this moment forever'.
Reposted byadvocatusDiabolisofiastichgamakrosDieKleineMyxaljanananenaaperturecarlandlouiseankinM3lk0r
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Judgment Day
It took a lot of booster rockets, but luckily Amazon had recently built thousands of them to bring Amazon Prime same-day delivery to the Moon colony.
Reposted byfinkreghunique-entity-likes-wired-stuffrinkaL337hiumwitzeclown
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Substitutions 2
Within a few minutes, our roads will be full of uncontrollably-swerving cars and our skies full of Amazon delivery dogs.
Reposted byrinkaDerOrwischer
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