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Phone
[*disables social networking accounts*] [*social isolation increases*] Wait, why does this ALSO feel bad?
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Decision Paralysis
Good point--making no decision is itself a decision. So that's a THIRD option I have to research!
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Chess Notation
I've decided to score all my conversations using chess win-loss notation. (??)
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Bad Map Projection: Time Zones
This is probably the first projection in cartographic history that can be criticized for its disproportionate focus on Finland, Mongolia, and the Democratic Republic of the Congo.
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90s Kid
We remember Rugrats, and think of them every time our kids look at us through their baby gates.
Reposted bylavey lavey
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Solar System Questions
My country's World Cup win was exciting and all, but c'mon, what if the players wore nylon wings and COULD LITERALLY FLY?
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Tamagotchi Hive
The Singularity happened, but not to us.
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Do you need me to do a quicksort on the whiteboard or produce a generation of offspring or something? It might take me a bit, but I can do it.
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The Martian
I have never seen a work of fiction so perfectly capture the out-of-nowhere shock of discovering that you've just bricked something important because you didn't pay enough attention to a loose wire.
Reposted bygroeschtlmynniap856kuromihaicontinuumdanielbohrer
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Words for Pets
Seventh year: Perfectly coherent words, but in the pet's language, not mine.
Reposted bySpecies5618Milcatopylefuastera
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Beer
Mmmm, this is such a positive experience! I feel no social pressure to enjoy it at all!
Reposted byohmylifenibotcamaelratmaniBlackForestCowboy
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Antique Factory
WARNING: This item was aged by the same inexorable passage of time that also processes nuts.
Reposted byratmani ratmani
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New Horizons
Last-minute course change: Let's see if we can hit Steve's house.
Reposted byaffittoBlackForestCowboySpecies5618
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The BDLPSWDKS Effect
This well-known effect has of course been replicated in countless experiments.
Reposted byhairinmyT-foxcoloredgrayscalehappytimerinkarepostedfromcliffordshallowmondkroetedesisoupitUpteijakoolsofiasbugiePsaikotest4
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Keyboard Mash
WHY DON'T YOU COME HANG OUT INSIDE MY HOUSE. WE CAN COOK BREAD AND CHAT ABOUT OUR INTERNAL SKELETONS.
Reposted bymoopBlackForestCowboyratmanisoupetermihaicontinuumfukurouenidkapelsendanielbohrerrinkadeinneuerfreundsileniuswordshakerskizzoleyrer
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Bracket
I'm staring at the "doctor" section, and I can't help but feel like I've forgotten someone.
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Vodka
Or whatever's handy! I'm pretty much pure alcohol and water, so it doesn't really matter!
Reposted bysoupeterSpecies5618danielbohreraperturerinka
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Humans
At this point, if we're going to keep insisting on portraying dinosaurs as featherless because it's "cooler", it's time to apply that same logic to art involving bald eagles.
Reposted byMerariTokei-IhtoMissDeWordeambassadorofdumbSpecies5618KryptoniteAgnesp856nothingiseverythingcoloredgrayscalerinka
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Placebo Blocker
They work even better if you take them with our experimental placebo booster, which I keep in the same bottle.
Reposted byrinkacokejunkiedanielbohrerStadtgespenstnicapicellapsyentistdingenspnk
Emojic 8 Ball
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